At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
