i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
