you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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