my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
