around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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