He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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