He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
