I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
