no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
There's always time for handjobs
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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