She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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