ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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