And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
