it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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