So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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