the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
