Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
All I want is dick and wine.
You ruined the universe
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
