....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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