So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
