4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
