in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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