We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
