I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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