The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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