The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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