Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Well I just put wine in my tea
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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