I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
