Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
