I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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