yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
