Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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