You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
