i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
