sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
