from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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