recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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