I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
