the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
