just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
