No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I think a kid would responsible me up
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
