Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
