Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
