Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
