I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Green mimosas i think yes
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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