You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
