So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
