I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
