Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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