He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
