just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
