I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
